Introducing our very our very first guest blogger – Podopheleus. He is a kinkster, blogger, up and coming author and an activist for men’s mental health. This gentleman is always keen to share his fascinating insights on the BDSM industry and mental health. This thought provoking blog discusses mental health and the similarities between dommes and submissive in terms of mental health.
Now over to Podopheleus!
Hello, kinky beings!
Recently I was talking to a prodomme who opened up to me about her struggles with mental health, She openly discussed her past sexual abuse, depression and attempted suicide. She wanted me to interview Her. The interview will be titled “It’s ok not to be ok”. She made it perfectly clear that She must remain completely anonymous because it will have a negative impact on Her business. Hearing this brought tears to my eyes. She went on to explain that Dominatrices are expected to be confident, empowering, strong and tough. Additionally, if She puts Her name to the interview, it is very likely that She will be viewed as “weak”. I then asked Her this question.
Do you think submissive men and prodommes with mental health problems share similarities? – in regards to being stigmatised as weak.
The prodomme instantly replied: “absolutely!”
Submissive men – Let me ask you a question: if a prodomme expressed real vulnerability, and was completely open about Her mental health issues, would you be turned off by this? Will you look at Her differently? – Label Her as weak? Will it ruin your sexualised fantasy of submitting to a powerful woman? If the answer is yes to any of these questions, all I have to say is, SHAME ON YOU!
Submissive men willingly express their vulnerabilities to prodommes, but why cant prodommes express their vulnerabilities to submissive men?
I don’t want to completely generalise here by saying that prodommes don’t ever express their vulnerable side. Having said that, it’s not something we see often. This could be because of the way prodommes portray themselves on social media. For example, Goddess Empress etc. (Dominatrices are superior to men). Sometimes, submissive men get so caught up in the sexualised fantasy that It seems that many sub males are forgetting that behind the Dommes persona is a human being.
Click here to read my article – The other side to a Dominatrix:
Masculinity vs strong dominant women
I once wrote: “I love the thrill of giving up control to a Female Dominant I can trust. Mentally and erotically the experience for me is gratifying. It’s a stress reliever, after each session, I come out feeling real good. Furthermore, I am exposing the most vulnerable side to me and in that moment I feel a strong connection. From my personal standpoint, Dommes understand a side of me that no one else can.” ~ Podopheleus
Personally, I feel there’s always been a strong connection between BDSM and releasing emotions.
Prodommes have given submissive men a safespace to express their sensitivity, femininity, and to be emotionally vulnerable without fear of judgement. However, where does that leave prodommes? Are prodommes and submissive men fighting the same battle in regards to expressing their vulnerabilities?
In our society, there are SO many men who feel like they can’t be vulnerable because of toxic masculinity. Men who express their vulnerabilities openly are viewed as weak. The question is, does the same apply to prodommes!?
Have you ever listened to the lyrics to ‘Strong Friend’ by Royce da 5’9? Here are two quotes from the song
“You need to check up on your strong friend
The one with strength that’s never gon’ end
The one with sense, take care of several grown men” ~ Royce da 5’9
Now, really, who does that remind you of?
Although the vast majority of prodommes are strong women, It should be noted that prodommes also have feelings, and vulnerabilities. All the prodommes I session with are empowering, influential, compassionate human beings, some I consider my ‘strong friend’ , the ones I check-in on every now and then.
“The worst thing to cause somebody is crazy
It’s dismissive, I don’t understand this person so he’s crazy
That’s bullshit, these people are not crazy, they’re strong people
Maybe their environment is a little sick” ~ Kendrick Lamar
Submissive men – who are we to judge, really? If a prodomme expresses vulnerabilities, let us not fail them.
I want to thank the prodomme who inspired me to write this article. You are one of the most courageous, loveliest, warmhearted human beings on the planet. I look forward to more sessions with You. My last session with You was literally out of this world. Truly unbelievable!
Whichever path You go down, You have my full support and confidence.
There we have it, prodommes and subs!
Click here to learn more about Dommes and subs:
I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Let’s support each other, kinksters! So please feel free to SHARE this blog with others. Feel free to hit me up on Twitter @podofeleus and Instagram @Podopheleus.
Much Kink Love,